Better Safe Than Sorry
by Serenity Goddess
Summary: Buffy is about to get married to Riley (egads!) , but intervention from friends could just change her life. (B/X)


BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY  
  
[In the bride's room, or wherever it is brides are when they prepare for   
their wedding. Buffy is inside trying her beautiful, white, silk wedding   
gown. Willow is Buffy's maid of honour, who had the misfortune of being   
forced to wear a shimmering bright pink and green dress.]  
  
Willow: Tell me again if you were blind when you picked out my dress.  
  
Buffy: Well, only temporarily, because the demon that attacked me sprayed   
some sort of sulphur … never mind (shakes her head). Anyway, in my state of   
semi-blindness, I thought it looked pretty, so I bought it for you, and they   
wouldn't give me a refund.  
  
Willow: You could have asked my opinion first, you know.  
  
Buffy: I was in a hurry, and I couldn't wait for my eyes to clear.  
  
Willow: I look like throw-up.  
  
Buffy: You look lovely. The pink and green really brings out your hair.  
  
Willow: I look like mangled confetti.  
  
Buffy: (adjusts her gown) Does this make me look fat?  
  
Willow: No… (stands beside her) you look stunning and radiant. (without   
feeling)Riley is going to be a very happy man.  
  
Buffy: I'm so excited!(tries on her veil)  
  
Willow: This *is* your big day.  
  
Buffy: I'm so excited!  
  
Willow: You said that already. (goes to the window and pets the cat sitting   
there) Whose cat is this?  
  
Buffy: I don't know, it was already there when I arrived. Oh, I hope cat fur   
doesn't stick to wedding gowns.  
  
Willow: Better safe than sorry. (opens the window and gently nudges the cat   
out. Willow turns around and glances at the clock) Have you seen Xander? He   
was supposed to be here an hour ago. He's late. He's late to his best   
friend's wedding. How terrible is that?  
  
Buffy: (more interested in her dress) I'm sure he'll show up sooner or   
later. Does this gown make me look fat?  
  
Willow: (ignores Buffy) He said he would come. Why would he ditch us?  
  
Buffy: I'm sure he didn't ditch us. (adjusts her veil again) Maybe he has   
car troubles. Does the veil make me look fat?  
  
Willow: Well, I don't think that … (someone is knocking on the door)  
  
Buffy: Who is it?  
  
Xander: (from the other side of the door) Xander.  
  
Buffy: (gasps)Oh, no, you can't enter! It's bad luck to see the bride.  
  
Xander: That only applies to the groom.  
  
Buffy: Better safe than sorry.  
  
Xander: It's okay , I don't want to see you - I just want to talk to Willow   
for a while.  
  
Buffy: Okay. (pauses and thinks for a while) Wait - Why don't you want to   
see me?  
  
Xander: Um … I just want to talk to Will.  
  
Buffy: No one leaves or enters this room until you tell me why you don't   
want to see me. Is it because I look fat? It's because I look fat, isn't   
it?!  
  
Xander: You look fine.  
  
Buffy: Liar! You can't even see me through that stupid wooden door. I knew I   
should have bought the other dress I saw that day. (to Willow) Do you think   
if I diet now I can look thinner by the wedding?  
  
Willow: The wedding starts in less than ten minutes , Buffy.  
  
Buffy: I'm not going to my wedding looking like the Little Pig that had   
roast beef.  
  
Xander: Can I come in now?  
  
Willow: I'll just go outside. (starts to head for the door)  
  
Buffy: Will! What if there's an emergency? What if I suddenly look fat …   
ter?"  
  
Willow: I'll be back in a minute. Stop obsessing before you explode or   
something.  
  
(Willow goes outside and meets Xander)  
  
Xander: Wow, she's really crazy about this wedding, eh?  
  
Willow: It's *her* wedding. Who wouldn't go crazy at a time like this?   
(looks at him) And why were you late? You're sixty-eight minutes late.  
  
Xander: I almost didn't come.  
  
Willow: (horrified) Why not?  
  
Xander: I… it might be too difficult for me.  
  
Willow: (realises) Oh, dear. At least you've conquered your fear, and are   
now ready to accept that the only woman you love is off to marry another   
man, and will never be yours ever again.  
  
Xander: Great cheer-up speech, Will. But - no. I decided to tell her.  
  
Willow: That's good… (stops and rethinks about what he said) WHAT?  
  
Xander: I'm going to tell her how I feel about her. How I always felt.  
  
Willow: You can't do that!  
  
Xander: Why not?  
  
Willow: She is going to be Mrs. Riley Finn in four and a half minutes! I   
don't know, but in some countries they call it "bad timing".  
  
Xander: If I don't tell her now, I'll never be able to live with myself. I   
have to know.  
  
Willow: Know what? If she's going to dump Riley and run off with you in the   
sunset?  
  
Xander: Yeah, that was the plan.  
  
Willow: No no no no no … this will totally freak her out. It's her wedding   
day. You can't, you can't.  
  
Man: (coming up to Willow) Miss Rosenburg? Is the bride ready?  
  
Willow: Go away, I'll get back to you. (the man shrugs and leaves)  
  
Xander: I have to tell her.  
  
Willow: What if she doesn't … feel the same way? You'll be crushed, and   
that's not a happy feeling to have on a wedding day.  
  
Xander: But she might … feel the same way. And if I don't ask her I'll never   
know. Better safe than sorry.  
  
Willow: I wonder why everyone is using that phrase.  
  
Xander: I don't care. (heads to the door)  
  
Willow: (holds his arm) Wait! Think it through! You will have to live with   
the consequences of your actions!  
  
Xander: What are you, the Voice of Conscience?  
  
Willow: (still holding his arm and won't let him go) No, I'm the Voice of   
Don't Do Any Stupid Things That You'll Regret Later!  
  
Xander: Maybe I won't regret this.  
  
Willow: Or, maybe, she'll break your arm and throw you out of the window.   
And there's a very angry cat under that window.  
  
Xander: This is something I just have to do.  
  
Willow: Can't you do it … later?  
  
Xander: When… after she's married? I think that's called adultery.  
  
Willow: It isn't if she breaks your arm and throws you out of the window.   
Then it's called assault and battery.  
  
Xander: This isn't funny. (hand on the latch)  
  
Willow: Wait! Are you sure this is what you want to do?  
  
Xander: Yes.  
  
Willow: Then I can't stop …  
  
Man: Miss Rosenburg?  
  
Willow: (irritated) I said I'll get back to you! Get the hell out of my face   
and leave me alone!  
  
(The Man beats a hasty retreat)  
  
Willow: I feel liberated.  
  
Xander: I feel scared.  
  
Willow: It is a good way to release tension - yelling at somebody in an   
abusive tone. All right … all that bad tension out of my system … I am   
ready to accept that you're off to destroy your life and ruin Buffy's   
wedding day.  
  
Xander: Where's your Willowish optimism?  
  
Willow: Oh, I lost that when Oz decided to cheat on me and then murder his   
other werewolf girlfriend and then skip town. But I'm happy now, I truly am.  
  
Xander: I'm going in. (He is about to turn the latch when the door swings   
forward and slams him in the face)  
  
Buffy: (coming) Oh! It's time! (stops) What's that thud I heard?  
  
Willow: That would be Xander.  
  
Buffy: He sounds different.  
  
Willow: You slammed the door in his face.  
  
Buffy: Oh! (looks behind the door and finds a rather pained Xander) Are you   
hurt?  
  
Xander: Well, a gigantic piece of wood connecting with my nose was actually   
quite refreshing.  
  
Buffy: You poor thing. (helps him up… holds up three fingers) How many   
fingers?  
  
Xander: You have ten, but are holding up three.  
  
Buffy: Conscious but not delirious. Okay, you're fine.  
  
Xander: Buffy … (fidgets and looks at Willow.)  
  
Buffy: Yes?  
  
Xander: There's … uh … something I wanted to tell you.  
  
Buffy: What?  
  
Xander: You see… um … I know it's your wedding day and everything, and …   
well…  
  
Man: (running down the hall) Miss Summers! It's time. Walk down the hall,   
turn left, where your father will be standing. He'll walk you down the aisle   
as rehearsed. (leaves)  
  
Willow: Who is that guy?  
  
Buffy: I have never seen him before in my entire life.  
  
Xander: But anyway … I have to be quick … I still l...  
  
Buffy: Oh, they're playing the Wedding March… I'll get back to you after the   
wedding, okay, Xand? We'll talk then. Oooh … I'm so excited… come on, Will!   
(walks quickly down the hall)  
  
Willow: Ow.  
  
Xander: I can't let her get married before telling her.  
  
Willow: What are you going to do - sabotage the wedding? (Xander looks at   
her) Why are you looking at me?  
  
Xander: Am I your best friend?  
  
Willow: (uneasily) Yes.  
  
Xander: Do you love me?  
  
Willow: Of course.  
  
Xander: Do you want to see me happy?  
  
Willow: I don't like where this conversation is headed.  
  
Xander: If you really , really, care for me, and want to see me happy -   
you'll do this for me.  
  
Willow: Ugh! Emotional blackmail! You are scum!  
  
Xander: Thanks.  
  
A FEW MINUTES LATER ….  
  
[In the church, Buffy and Riley are standing side by side in front of the   
minister. Willow stands at the side, looking for Xander. Xander watches from   
behind a wall and quietly makes several hand gestures to get Willow's   
attention. Willow spots him, and Xander signals for her to carry out the   
plan.]  
  
Priest: Those who think that these two souls should not be joined in holy   
matrimony, speak now, or forever hold your peace.  
  
[Xander signals madly at Willow]  
  
Willow: (putting on a bad face and stares directly at Xander, silent   
mouthing 'You owe me big time' to him. She turns immediately to the priest   
and throws down her bouquet of flowers) I OBJECT to this wedding!!  
  
(The entire church gasps in shock)  
  
Priest: Wh..what?  
  
Buffy: Willow! (sternly whispers to her) Why are you doing this?  
  
Willow: (loudly enough for everyone to hear) I am sorry, Buffy, but I cannot   
live a lie anymore. I cannot let you get married, without tell you the   
truth.  
  
Buffy: What are you talking about?  
  
Willow: Riley and I have been having a secret love affair all the while!  
  
Riley: What?!  
  
Willow: We would meet every Thursday, and have hot, steamy sex!  
  
(more people gasp)  
  
Buffy: (turns to Riley, horrified) You told me Thursday was poker night!  
  
Riley: It *IS* poker night! She's lying!  
  
Willow: I am not! I do not lie!  
  
Buffy: With my best friend! Oh!  
  
Riley: (goes to her) Buffy, honey… I swear …  
  
Buffy: Get away from me! (shoves him aside and moves away from him)  
  
Willow: Ah! AH! AHHHH! (throws her hands in the air and starts shaking   
compulsively) I can't take this! I'm going to go crazy! Nobody believes me!   
(starts screaming and stamping her foot and making a scene)  
  
Woman: I think she's having a fit!  
  
Willow: Yes I am!  
  
(Willow shakes her head vigorously and screams again. Everyone starts   
talking immediately. Willow stops for a microsecond to give a tiny wink at   
Xander before continuing her performance. She throws herself to the ground   
and starts sobbing. Everyone leaves their seats to gather around and have a   
closer look at this amazing spectacle. Even Riley curiously joins the group.   
Xander takes the opportunity and runs to Buffy, who is standing at the edge   
of the crowd. He grabs hold of her hand and leads her away and into an empty   
room.)  
  
Buffy: Xander  
  
Xander: Hi!  
  
Buffy: (hugs him and cries) This is terrible. I've never felt so embarrased   
in my whole life. I thought Willow was my friend.  
  
Xander: She is. She's mine as well. And a good friend at that.  
  
Buffy: (looks at him) What's that supposed to mean?  
  
Xander: Riley didn't cheat on you with her. Willow just did that because I   
told her to.  
  
Buffy: Wh .. why? (her eyes narrow down to slits and her tone turns serious   
and threatening) Alexander Lavelle Harris …  
  
Xander: Look , Buffy … I…  
  
Buffy: You ruined my wedding.  
  
Xander: Not intentionally . (pauses) All right, intentionally , but not in   
the intentional way you think I intentionally did that.  
  
Buffy: (looks around) I need a sharp, pointy object. Or a heavy, bludgeoning   
device.  
  
Xander: Mercy?  
  
Buffy: Oh, mercy is a quality I do not have. When I'm done with you, they'll   
have a funeral after my wedding. Hey, the same priest can do your last   
rites.  
  
Xander: I love you.  
  
Buffy: That's cute, but I still want to beat you to death.  
  
Xander: I mean, I love you. In that … whole non friendship sort of way. I   
love you.  
  
Buffy: What?  
  
Xander: I love you.  
  
Buffy: Stop saying that!  
  
Xander: Why?  
  
Buffy: Because you don't love me.  
  
Xander: Yes I do.  
  
Buffy: No, you don't.  
  
Xander: Yes, I do.  
  
Buffy: No, you don't.  
  
Xander: Yes, I …  
  
Buffy: Stop it! You think you love me, but you don't. That's because you're   
Julia Roberts.  
  
Xander: Come again?  
  
Buffy: I saw this movie once, where Julia Roberts thought she was in love   
with her best friend, but only realised that just before he was getting   
married. You see where I'm headed? You're afraid that you'll lose me and   
that we can't be best friends any more.  
  
Xander: No, I love you.  
  
Buffy: This is getting very repetitive.  
  
Xander: I am not Julia Roberts, and this is not a movie. I love you. I want   
to be with you forever. I want to be the person you wake up next to every   
morning and go to sleep with every night. And I'll never be able to live   
with myself if I don't hear your answer.  
  
Buffy: What's the question?  
  
Xander: Do you love me too?  
  
Buffy: (looking out the window) Isn't the weather lovely today?  
  
Xander: You aren't answering my question.  
  
Buffy: I'm getting married. Or at least I think I was.  
  
Xander: All right. I understand. Looks like I got my answer. (turns to go)  
  
Buffy: Xander - wait! (he turns around) Don't you ever think I don't love   
you. I love you more than you can imagine. I love you more than *I* can   
imagine. And I don't want to lose you.  
  
Xander: But you don't want to be with me.  
  
Buffy: I didn't say that.  
  
Xander: Then what are you saying?  
  
Buffy: I don't know.  
  
Xander: (walks straight up to her and hold her) You can't marry Riley. He's   
not supposed to be the one you love and honour and cherish for the rest of   
your life. I am.  
  
Buffy: How do you know that?  
  
Xander: Because I love you, and that's all I need to know right now.  
  
(He gently lifts her face and kisses her on the lips. She does not resist.)  
  
Buffy: Wow.  
  
Xander: Can you honestly tell me you felt nothing there?  
  
Buffy: (looks away) I guess so.. but … I don't know.  
  
Xander: You don't seem to know a lot of things.  
  
Buffy: Oh, that's one way to win my heart. Call me stupid.  
  
Xander: I never called you stupid.  
  
Buffy: But you were hinting at it.  
  
Xander: I was not.  
  
Buffy: That's the trouble with you - you never tell anything directly but   
instead drop these little confusing hints here and there and expect people   
to understand you.  
  
Xander: I said I love you. That was not a hint, trust me.  
  
Buffy: And neither is this. (grabs his collar and pulls him in quickly for   
another long, steamy kiss)  
  
Xander: (muttering and reeling from the kiss)Eh… ah …thas.. aste… ah… gah…  
  
Buffy: (giggling) To tell you the truth, I sort of had a thing for you ever   
since I saw you in that cute, tight little Speedo.  
  
Xander: (seriously surprised) Information I could have used ten minutes ago.   
Why didn't you tell me earlier? It would have saved me a lot of heartache   
and worry.  
  
Buffy: (giggling and tapping her index finger on his chest) Yeah … you   
looked really hot back then. (looks up at him) I would have told you anyway…   
I just wanted to see how far you would go … you look pretty cute when you're   
desperate.  
  
Xander: I was not desperate.  
  
Buffy: You had on the sad puppy dog eyes.  
  
Xander: All right, this is where you tell me how much you love me and want   
to run away with me in the sunset.  
  
Buffy: I love you and I want to run away with you in the sunset.  
  
Xander: Have you been practising? You sound pretty natural.  
  
Buffy: Actually, this has always been a secret fantasy of mine since I was a   
girl - to be whisked off on my wedding day from the attractive man who loved   
me from a distance. I watched a lot of cable TV back then.  
  
Xander: God, from the show up put up earlier I would have thought you didn't   
feel a single thing for me at all.  
  
Buffy: I didn't want to look to *desperate* . (laughs) It would not be good   
for my image if I immediately jump into your arms, now would it?  
  
Xander: It would have been good for mine.  
  
Buffy: Your image is not an issue here.  
  
Xander: (decides to let that comment slide) Come, my love, let us make a   
hasty getaway!  
  
Buffy: (pulling hard at the window latch) Why do you think I'm trying so   
hard to pry open this window?  
  
Xander: Let me help you. (they both pull and the window comes open)  
  
Buffy: (kisses him quickly and climbs out the window) Let's go. I don't   
think Riley or his parents will be very happy to see running off on my   
wedding day. Come to think of it, neither will mine.  
  
Xander: (climbs out and Buffy helps him down) Buffy?  
  
Buffy: Yeah?  
  
Xander: Remind me to thank Willow.  
  
THE END 


End file.
